New Years Resolutions - so how's that working for you?

Ahhh the start of another calendar year and there seems to be this weird thing of people asking "so what's your new years resolution"? Mine is quite a quick response - I don't make them.

The reason I don't do new years resolutions is that January is a crappy time for me to do reflection and not once has a new years resolution ever stuck. It comes back to my #youdoyou philosophy - what works for one of us won't work for all. I have figured out that my best reflection time is in March and September. Those months seem to be when the cycles of the life that I led provide the right space and mindset to reflect, create a vision for what I'm looking for and more space for joy and then swing into action.

Have you ever thought when your best time of the year for reflection is?

I totally get why for a lot of people January is the perfect time for them. The start of a fresh calendar. A clear line in the change of year which indicates leaving the past behind and kicking off a new one full of possibilities. The actual habit of making new years resolutions. If they work for you keep doing it. But if they don't maybe you could think about a better time. And once you find that better time for you, these are some ways that I've found help me achieve what I'm aiming for.

Get clear on your why

This one is so important for choosing changes of habits (more on habits shortly). It's what is going to help you embed the habit you need to achieve what you are wanting on those hard days when you want to do anything but. Your "why" sits in the big picture stuff.

An example for me is to live to 106. Why? Because I want to be able to dance at my grandkids weddings (if they still do weddings!) and hold all my great grandchildren within days of them being born. What makes my why so powerful is that it is unchanging over time (let's face it 106 is a few years away from my current 45 - it also makes 45 feel like a spring chicken!) By getting clear on why I want to live to 106 means those days where I can't be bothered going for a walk or jumping on the bike I end up doing them because the bigger picture "why" is so much more influential that the current unmotivated moment. The 106 is my goal. Being able to fully dance and celebrate (I want to feel full of energy with a body that can support me thrive) that's what my goal looks and feels like. My grandchildren and great grandchildren are my why.

If you want more money - why? What would more money mean you could do that you can't do now?

If you want to lose weight - why? Is it because social media/culture tells you your body should look a certain way? Instead of measuring your gravitational pull would you be more motivated if you measured what your body could achieve?

Your "why" will be tied to your values and/or a feeling. My three top value are curiosity, kindness and family. So everytime I've decided that I'll do 50 pushups, run a marathon or learn a language they've all pretty much failed until I tie them to that greater "why". Learning Te Reo for instance has been a journey which I just don't feel I've made that much progress on. Being New Zealander I felt it was the right thing to do. Why - no idea probably partly I would like to think of myself as inclusive, partly because its something I felt I "should" do. But now that I've tied it to being able to teach and speak it to our mokopuna my motivation and ability to give it the priority it needs has increased.

Habits are your making and your breaking

During 2021 I got introduced to James Clear, well his work anyway. His wisdom gave me so many Aha moments as I dug into his work that I highly recommend you check him out. He is the source of some of my favourite quotes but here are three of the best (actually he's got way more but you can discover them yourself - go check him out!)

Knock Knock - who's there - oh it's the consequence of my daily habits over the last 3 years!

Every action we take is a vote for the person we want to become

Our current habits are perfectly designed to support our current position

In a nutshell it really is the little things we do everyday that are going to make the differences we are seeking. Also be aware we humans are lazy little fekers always seeking out the path of least resistance. Want to eat healthier but you always reach for a chocolate biscuit rather than a piece of fruit to get you through the afternoon? Well if the apples are in the fridge, down low in the chiller compartment and the chocolate biscuits are way easier to reach at eye height in the pantry is it any surprise? - either chuck the biscuits under the apples or put them out of sight in a place that is harder to reach than the apples.

Ladies we all know we should be doing our pelvic floor exercises but how many of us do them daily? Try incorporating them into what you already do - like when you brush your teeth, watching a favourite show or every time you come to a set of traffic lights. Ahhh "2022 the year of the Powerful Pelvis" it's got a ring to it doesn't it - our significant others won't know what got hold of them!

One habit that I've been using and I find really effective is each Sunday I have a reflect/reset session. I lock in three things for the coming week that are tied to my dreams/vision for future/desires - what ever you want to call them

• One thing that I will do today to create immediate action

• One thing that I will do everyday this week to create consistency and to support creation of habits that will support the future

• One thing that I will do this week that my future self will thank me for. This one is to keep the big picture on the radar to acknowledge some of the best things in life have been years in the making.

So whether you're a new years resolution person, or someone who may be reflecting on the best time of year for you, I hope you keep dreaming big, creating space for joy and creating a life that you actively participate and thrive in.

Nadine xx