Eggplant moments (and I'm not talking about actual eggplants!)

Dearest,

How does this moment feel for you? Are you feeling content and present or are your carrying something form either the past or future that is weighing you down? Let's take a few deep breathes - looking away from this letter and just deep breathing until that stillness has arrived.

Pictures of eggplants - not what I am actually talking about

What have you been binge watching lately? We've just finished The Four Seasons and I love it. The characters are all people you'd want in your friend circle. Each wonderfully imperfect. Each navigating life and dealing with its randomness.

During season one (I hope there will be a season two) they all had moments of being "a eggplant". It got me thinking how I'm guilty of labelling someone an "eggplant" outright. I've decided that instead I'll say they are going through their eggplant phase.

Sure some people remain in their eggplant phase for way too long, a lifetime even, but most of us go through eggplant phases our entire lives and we normally emerge more aware and a wee bit better than we were before (if we don't we are probably still in it).

I know I've personally had plenty and as I look back on each, there is one thing they all had in common. I was right. Totally and utterly right. I would fight you with how right I was. Except I wasn't. I was very much wrong and very deep into an eggplant phase.

Having gone through a few of these I am now aware of some clues.

Eggplant phase - I am right, I will fight you, nothing you can say will change things

Better me phase - I'm happy with my position and tell be more.

Eggplant phase - you're not the boss of me

Better me phase - thanks for looking out for me followed by either that sounds like a good plan or I think I've got this.

Eggplant phase - it's because of everyone else

Better me phase - oh look, I'm now experiencing the consequences of my decisions and actions.

Eggplant phase - I don't need to do the mahi, it's just too hard, what's the point

Better me phase - I get to choose my hard, put in the mahi everyday because I'm worth it

So Dearest, here's to being a bit more compassionate to those around us (and perhaps us!) who are currently in an eggplant phase. Definitely have boundaries (eggplant phases are contagious - just look at the Trump administration!!) and boundaries may involve no contact but do so with kindness and compassion knowing that the essence of that person is wonderful and pure, their eggplant phase is just making it very (very, very, very......) hard to recognise.

Well its time for me to kick into the rest of the day. I hope your day reveals wonderfully surprises, within the everyday surroundings and as little interactions with eggplants as possible.

Take care Dearest - of yourself, of others, of your thoughts, of your actions and of our beautiful world.

You are worthy - always

Ngā manaakitanga xx

PS - I assume all the readers of this letter understand the use of "eggplant" throughout this letter - if not drop me a note and I'll explain - or better yet find a 20 something who will be able to explain it for you.